I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
do nipples grow back?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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