Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
