check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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