I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
