you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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