I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
