Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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