8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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