im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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