You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
