I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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