I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
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having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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