Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
