Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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