No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
