yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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