I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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