Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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