why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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