Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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