Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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