Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
