I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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