his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
