You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize