so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize