You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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