I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
