Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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