Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It's never too late to be topless.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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