My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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