I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
