Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
