I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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