im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
