I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
