What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize