Can i not drive my cunt home
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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