i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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