just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
