put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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