i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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