So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
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I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
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