I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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