Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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