I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this hospital has no fireball
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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