All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i think i just lost a toe
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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