If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
