I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
