Your tits are I can't wait for
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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