Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
