Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
