Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
