we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
