she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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