are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
