Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize