Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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