I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
