i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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