It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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