remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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