I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize