brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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